Improve your life - control your anger

Do you or perhaps someone you know suffer from their anger? Do you suffer from road rage? Maybe the behaviour of others infuriates you and leaves you seething? We know that such feelings are not good for us and leads to stress.  So how to control that temper?

In Islam, it is considered a virtue for a Muslim to control his/her anger and temper. But how to do this? Well here are three remedies Islam prescribes for anger...

1. Say "I seek protection from the accursed devil (shaytaan)".
2. Drink a glass of water / perform ablution (perform ritual wash before prayers).
3. Sit down or lie down.

I was in a terrible temper one day and when I considered the above remedies for anger I thought there is no way that these actions will calm me down. After thinking such a thought I decided to try these remedies - what I found shocked me - my anger and temper dissipated.

Accordingly, the next time you or someone close to you has uncontrollable anger I would suggest that you try the3 above mentioned remedies. I am sure you will be surprised with the outcome.  For me, I simply couldn't sustain my anger while sat down, sipping water from a glass.

When I researched this subject more I found many articles showing that simply drinking water can cool our tempers. Here is one such article...

Islam teaches you to appreciate what you have

Usually my writings on this blog are inspired by refuting some negative remark about Islam so for this post I thought I would offer an insight into the religion which I hope will depict Islam in a positive light and which I hope will be of benefit to all readers irrespective of their belief.

How often do we consider our lives and think that we are hard done by? How often do we suffer setbacks and feel sad, depressed and despondent? I would imagine that all of us have feelings of sadness from time to time and that on occasions we feel that we are generally worse off than perhaps we should be.  We all have issues, problems, worries and I am sure that we probably worry about the same things, health, wealth, relationships etc.

So what is the Islamic perspective on this?  In general, the Qur'an prescribes Mankind to be grateful for what he has, to be thankful to Allah for what Allah has provided and in this context Mankind should not worry - indeed worry has no benefit.  I am sure you will agree with this - has worrying ever made any of your problems better?

Surah Al An'am (6) Ayat 17

"If Allah touches you with harm no one can remove it except He, and if He touches you with good, then he is able to do all things"

Indeed, the Qur'an notes that Mankind, by their very nature are ungrateful.  Surah Ar Rahman (55) repeats "Then which of the blessings of your Lord will you deny".

Is this true? Are we in denial of the blessings of our Lord?  Or is it that our lives are truly miserable and there is nothing to be thankful for? I mean look at the suffering in the World? Should we be thankful for this? What of when we lose a close family member? Lose our job? Lose our health should we be thankful for this?

To assess whether we should be thankful I would like you to try out the following exercise:

Imagine in front of you a large piece of paper. You have a pen in your hand and I would like you to draw a vertical line in the middle of the paper creating two sections. Label the section on the left hand side reasons not to be grateful and on the right hand side reasons to be grateful.

Write away. List whatever you feel should go on either side of the piece of paper.

I am sure when you complete the exercise you will come to a conclusion as to how your life is.  I am sure some people who are going through a difficult time at the moment will think that their life is particularly difficult and perhaps on balance nothing to be grateful for.

But wait a minute? Did we do the exercise properly? Did we properly record all the items we should be grateful for? Did we list gratefulness for our eyesight? Sense of smell? Taste, touch, kidney, heart, ability to think, ability to walk, ability to move. Did we list all of our relationships, our family members, our close friends? Did we list all of our capabilities?

To put this into perspective, what if we move a benefit such as a physical ability or a relationship from the right hand side to the left hand side of the page and assume we no longer have it? I am sure for most of us the movement of that item will become the biggest problem on the list on the left hand side of the page.

The point I am trying to make is that by our nature we are ungrateful for what we have - we take it for granted.  But as soon as we lose it, we miss it terribly. Just like our families and our relationships. How we take each other for granted. The beauty of the Qur'an is that it encourages us to ponder and contemplate what we have not least so that we can enjoy it while it is here. The Qur'an also teaches us that what we have in this World will leave us so we need to prepare for this however such preparation doesn't mean worry ourselves silly - no - we should reflect on the life we have led and have enjoyed - we should be thankful to Allah and pray for a better life in the Hereafter.

What I find so attractive and appealing about this aspect of Islam - being thankful - is that when you reflect on what you have and that you only have it for a finite period of time - you will feel grateful - you will (or should) feel that there is no benefit to worrying and fretting.

To give another example, a close relative that you love dearly. We can rage against losing such a person but why not reflect on the happy times you spent together? Don't waste your time worrying about what you don't have or what you might lose - use your time now to enjoy what you have.

Being a Muslim and British values

I was listening to the BBC World Service the other day and listened partially to a programme (I think it was the World Have Your Say programme) where a BBC interviewer was interviewing Muslim school girls in the UK. The gist of the interview was investigating possible Muslim sympathies with the Islamic State and exploring where these perhaps come from.  One line of enquiry was whether such sympathies were taught in the mosque.  During the interview I was amazed to hear the interviewer mention "British values" and she asked how are these reconciled with being a Muslim. As an example of a "British value" the interviewer mentioned same sex marriage. This led me to the immediate question - is same sex marriage a British value?

Of all the possible values that you could say are British, I found it odd that the interviewer mentioned same sex marriage. Indeed, given the history of the British Isles and the fact that same sex marriage has only recently been recognised under UK law, I don't believe it is correct to say that this is a British value.  I can understand that tolerance is a British value. I can understand that respecting the law of the land (which allows same sex marriage) is a British value.

Indeed, for those who believe in Scripture and/or the Quran which quite clearly does not accept same sex marriage, can we say that those people who hold such beliefs do not reflect British values for not accepting/agreeing with same sex marriage? Isn't "tolerance" of different views a British value? I am sure that the Church of England does not agree to same sex marriage as a matter of principle.  Indeed, in a democracy, isn't it one of the fundamental principles that we can have different views on a topic BUT we tolerate them? It doesn't mean we accept them to the point we agree, we condone or we encourage.

I think it has to be accepted that we must expect that those who believe in Scripture and/or the Quran (which is clearly opposed to same sex marriage) that they will not accept or agree to same sex marriage. So, I don't think we can say that acceptance of same sex marriage is a "British value". For that matter, what is a British value?

I don't think it is a surprise that people who believe in Scripture and/or the Quran do not accept same sex marriage but I don't think that is a basis to infer such people as being opposed to British values.

Is Snapchat Satanic?

As a Muslim, as a believer, I belive in the "unseen". Part of the "unseen" is the world of the jinn and Satan (Iblis) and his jinn (demon) followers. The difficulty for a believer in such things is how to verify their existence? Can we prove the "unseen" exists? Certainly, an inability to prove something "unseen" doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Until our understanding of science developed we were unable to prove the existence of "unseen" things such as gravity and magnetism.

In this light I was disturbed to see Snapchat's recent introduction of allowing users to video themselves vomiting rainbows. I will say that again, vomiting rainbows. Maybe I am too old to understand (I am in my 40s) but why would someone want to see themselves vomiting a rainbow? The zombie face, I can understand. Change your appearance and shock your friends and family. But vomiting rainbows? What does it mean?

As far as I could find out vomiting rainbows means you find something too sweet - sickly sweet. Ok. But is this such a popular thing that it is added as a feature to Snapchat? Obviously it is. So why do people want to show themselves vomiting rainbows? The most popular answer I received to this question is that it is "fun". Really? This is fun? Maybe I don't have the right sense of humour to see the "fun" here.

Actually, I find the image shocking and, to me, Satanic. This depiction is what I imagine a demon to look like. I think this is the popular image that we all think a demon looks like. But how, have we ever seen a real demon?

Why do we think that demons have horns and big eyes? Just fantasy? We made it up? Collectively?

What about vomiting? I cannot think of anything positive about this. Of course the symbolism is unpleasant.

What I find strange is why would anyone want to depict themselves like this? Ok, maybe a few people perhaps, but such a number that it warrants its own application on Snapchat? Wow. This led me to thinking how did this come about. Certainly, to me, the depiction looks Satanic, it makes people look like demons. I have two thoughts on this. Say the "unseen" is true - that there really are demons - wouldn't they want their natural enemy - humankind - to depict themselves as demons? Who knows?

Putting the demonic copying to one side - isn't it that this is truly a waste of time? Does anyone need to send to another person a picture of themselves vomiting a rainbow?  In Islam, we believe that one of the tricks of Satan (Iblis) is to waste our time - preoccupy us with irrelevant and foolish matters. I think anyone reading this article who has teenage children will agree that whilst smart phones are incredible devices with very many wonderful uses - how often do our children waste their time with pointless activities on them? Could there be a more pointless activity than showing yourself vomit a rainbow?

One thing we can all agree on is that our time on Earth is limited. Again, we can agree we should use our time constructively and usefully. I don't think there is time for depicting ourselves vomiting a rainbow.

An inevitable clash between belief and science - virgin birth of Jesus

You might be surprised to know that the Quran refers to the virgin birth of Jesus.  In fact, it is a requirement of the Islamic faith to believe in this.

So how to reconcile a virgin birth with science? I don't think you can.  You can talk of assexual reproduction but do we have any scientific examples of this in humans? This is an issue that you either believe or you do not. There is no scientific basis (as we know to today) to explain this. So how come some people believe and others do not? This issue is dealt with in the Quran itself.

Quran - Surah Maryam 19:16 - 34

The Quran reveals that Mary was visited by the Angel Gabriel and she conceived a son.  Mary says

"How can I have a son, when no man has touched me, nor am I unchaste" [19:20].

When Mary is experiencing the pains of childbirth she says

"Would that I died before this and had been forgotten and out of sight" [19:23].

Why is Mary saying this? She recognises the embarrassment of her situation - she is chaste - untouched by man but yet she is pregnant. What will her family think? What will the community think? We can easily imagine her predicament even in our relatively liberal times.  Note that Mary wishes she was dead. Indeed, when Mary returns to her people with the new born Jesus they say

"O sister of Aaron (Harun), your father was not a man who used to commit adultery, nor your mother was an unchaste woman" [19:28].

What are her people saying to Mary? What is the inference? If we imagine any young girl in this position today what would you think? So you can see the question of believing the virgin birth was at the very beginning, at the time of Jesus' birth. No need for a scientific perspective, the inference is clear.

For a moment, imagine the event replayed today with someone you know, someone who you believe (or believed) was chaste. Would you believe them?  Would you think I believe that the young girl believes her story but maybe something happened that she didn't recollect?  What a test?

I believe Mary. Why do I believe Mary? I believe the Quran is God (Allah) inspired and it contains no errors. I also believe that this event (or story if you disbelieve) would not have been recorded in history if it didn't have other corroborating factors. Indeed, how many teenage pregnancies have occurred throughout the ages?  Why did this event (or story) stick? Why are we talking about it today? Well, it just so happened that the child born to Mary did turn out to be a very special man - I don't think there is much doubt or at least any evidence to show that Mary was not the mother of Jesus. Isn't it a coincidence that the boy born of virgin birth came to be a significant figure in our history (not to mention the three main monotheistic religions of Judaism, Christianity and Islam). Doesn't this mean something? Isn't it a bit more than a coincidence?

Have you any experience of speaking to an innocent person charged with a crime but they cannot prove they didn't do it? Usually, there will be additional data points to point to the truth. Is the person usually honest? Science cannot in all circumstances determine the truth of a particular event.

What I find amazing about the mentioning of the virgin birth of Jesus in the Quran is that it (to my mind) succinctly describes Mary's predicament. Imagine, Mary, the mother of a prophet, visited by the Angel Gabriel, wishing she was dead because of her virgin pregnancy. The Quran shows that this was a difficult matter to explain. Look at the reaction of Mary's people.

"O sister of Aaron (Harun), your father was not a man who used to commit adultery, nor your mother was an unchaste woman" [19:28].

What are Mary's people saying? We can imagine.

So, do you believe in the virgin birth of Jesus? Science will not help you believe. All we have to go on is that Mary was reported to be a young girl of unblemished character, a pious young lady. We have her word (assuming you don't doubt that she claimed this). We have the fact that the child born of the event was a remarkable figure. A coincidence? And for Muslims, we have this recorded in the Quran which we believe to be the infallible word of God (Allah).

I would be interested to know if Christians believe in the virgin birth? Do they really believe? Notwithstanding the fact that to believe is to fly in the face of our scientific understanding today. For those who do not believe what are they saying? What is the evidence not to believe Mary?

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After posting this post I received a good deal of feedback as to why some people do believe Mary and the virgin birth of Jesus. Let's look at how such people believe?

Well, let's look at the facts.  That's right, FACTS.  The fact is that Mary gave birth to a significant person in history. Putting aside whether Jesus was a prophet (as believed by Muslims) or son of God (as believed by Christians), Jesus is an amazing historical figure. How many of us know of Jesus? How many other historical figures do we know?  What are the chances of a claim of virgin birth AND the child who is born of such birth being such a remarkable figure?  When we say remarkable, how remarkable? Well, a person who has a religion based on him - that religion is the largest in the World - plus Jesus is honoured in the second largest religion in the World. So when we say a significant historical figure - perhaps one of the most significant historical figures.

Is all of this a coincidence? It would be such a remarkable coincidence that you have to say that a coincidence is unlikely.  Surely, more than coincidence?  So if not coincidence?